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Doing the Last First

When I wrote my blog post about homeschooling our second daughter in “Take That System“, I promised to tell you about our oldest daughter in a later post. Many of you have asked….so, finally, here it is.

A Daunting Task

In the original blog post I told you how our second daughter’s academic struggles led us to take a leap of faith and homeschool. I should tell you how that leap came about too. That will have to be another blog post promised for later – again. But for now, we had different reasons for bringing our oldest daughter home. She was finishing her 9th grade year and making straight As. However, she was falling into the “wrong” crowd. Yes, they have those even in the best private Christian schools, which she was in. On top of that, her spiritual life primarily existed in Bible class. That was so to be surprising. My husband and I had only recently made God our first and only god. She was living by our example.

Now when I say she was a straight A student that does, by no means, imply that she was learning anything. But, boy, could she work the system. She would walk right up to the classroom door, pause before a test and look over the notes, go in and ace the test, and come out knowing nothing it was about!

Wait… What?

She was not happy with our decision to homeschool her.

Okay, that’s an understatement! She was one extremely displeased camper with a whole host of negative emotions! Anger, resentment, confusion, fear, hurt, sadness…. She didn’t want to leave her friends and the system she was used to. She knew how to exist there and probably more than angry, she was afraid of the unknown and it came out as anger. I completely understood – I was frightened too!

Cassidy and her sister with all her friends from private school. She's still friends with them all.
Cassidy and her sister with all her friends from private school. Even though they’ve all moved on to different places in this world, they are still friends.

We prayed for direction and guidance. How do we accomplish positive changes in only three years? We prayed. We researched. We prayed. We talked to others.

We prayed.

It seems, even today, everyone dreads homeschooling high school. Even those that have been homeschooling from the beginning are scared of it and often quit when they get there. People said to me then, “We’re terrified by high school. You’re just going to jump in and start there?”

“Yes. Yes I am.”

Maybe I was just naïve or just plain stupid, but high school seemed way less scary to me than teaching someone to read. I figured if they could read, they could learn anything. Wasn’t really much for me to do but point her in the right directions and let her go. And that’s pretty much what we did.

I confess – I was a bit terrified. It was daunting. I had thought that even though I was doing things differently for my younger daughter, this 10th grader would pretty much be getting the prescribed curriculum to check off the “required” boxes and do it. It didn’t take long to discover that even in high school learning and schooling are different.

Some Silver Lining

We finished up the 9th grade year at the private school and then spent the summer putting God at the top of our priorities and re-bonding our family. We made church and family devotions a regular part of our lives. We made the Bible our go to point for family decisions. The girls and I did a lot of lying on the trampoline and making shapes out of clouds that summer.

Our beautiful view from laying on the trampoline.
Our beautiful view from laying on the trampoline.

We took walks in the woods. We canned fruit. Nothing taste better than warm, fresh, muscadine jelly from berries you picked, washed, and cooked together. Did I mention we had a vineyard? Very fun! We had a good summer.

Cassidy and our dog, Vanilla, picking muscadines in our backyard.
Cassidy and our dog, Vanilla, picking muscadines in our backyard.

But…she was 16. She needed friends. New friends. Homeschool friends. She needed people that she could have commonality with. We helped her stay in touch with her private school friends, and some of those she is still friends with today – 15 years later. But right then, she needed friends in her new world circle.

King of the pasture and vineyard - Jumper - Cassidy's beloved dog.
King of the pasture and vineyard – Jumper – Cassidy’s beloved dog. Because – I just really love this photo.

To help her transition, we hoped to find ways to make homeschooling appealing by tapping her interest. She had interests that because of the confines of her school schedules and our work situations she couldn’t pursue. We looked for ways to change that now that the work and school obstacles were removed.

Cassidy's grandmother, her best friend since 2nd grade,  her little sister, and the cat. We had fun restoring close family relations those first few months.
Cassidy’s grandmother, her best friend since 2nd grade, her little sister, and our cat. We had fun bonding closer as a family those first few months. Its amazing how fast you can mend that gap when you go from seeing each other maybe 4 rushed waking hours a day to every leisurely fun hour of the day!

Choices and Actions!

That first year we learned to be okay starting things and then tossing them out and starting again. We began a chemistry course that blew our minds. We sold it! We started a math course (same one the school had used) – it was awful! We tossed it! By Thanksgiving we were wondering if we would have to do the entire 10th grade over. But once we settled on something, she moved fast. Not having to wait on a class allows your own pace and she moved through it with no troubles after we found the right fit. That was one of my great lessons learned as a homeschool mom! Even here, in the 10th grade, there is plenty of time for tossing out and starting again. If its not working, don’t continue to force it!! We learned quickly that the curriculum is our tool and to switch if that tool isn’t doing the job.

Cassidy with her homeschool classmates.  They are all also spread about in their adult lives and maintain their friendship.
Cassidy with her homeschool classmates. They are all also spread across the globe. Sweet friendships endure.

She didn’t realize it, but while all that bouncing around was happening, her dad and I were finding ways to help her experience the freedom and open opportunities homeschooling enjoyed. Looking for opportunities, we talked with other parents in our cover school.

These two, with a few others, stuck together through all the hard high school courses - Physics, Calculus, Marine Biology! Fun years.
These three, with a few others, stuck together through all the hard high school courses – Physics, Calculus, Marine Biology! Fun years.

There were a variety of skills and abilities there. We were engineers and brought math and science to the table. As providence would have it, one of the other families’ dads was a local law school professor. He needed help with math for his son. We needed help with government for our daughter. And a small group of life friendships were born.

We offered to teach math and he offered to teach government. Several other families wanted in and soon we had a little group of about 8-10 students taking these classes together.

CassCatDanielLindens2005
We made friends that weren’t in specific classes with us as well. This group had many fun activities and outings throughout the years.  A few missing in this photo –  you know who you are! I couldn’t find a photo with all of you, though I’m sure it exist!

One of the moms told us about a local co-op where you could sign up for individual subjects. This was great for me as I was terrified of high school English and literature!! Our daughter, on the other hand, loved Shakespeare and wasn’t allowed to read it at the private school as early or as much as she had wanted to. Here was a chance at that freedom we were watching for. We signed her up for the English lit course. (I was so relieved!) They read lots of Shakespeare. They even went to live Shakespeare plays. She started to open up to the new venture.

The Power of Learning for Your Own Benefit

So far we’ve got her in the Shakespeare she desired, and what could make government more fun for a high schooler than to take it from an actual law professor? They had the opportunity to go to the law school and see mock trials. Being a small group they did a lot of learning activities together and became closely associated. This group of kids are still friends.

One thing we did continue doing were her private art lessons. Here she's pictured with her ribbons she earned in photography and painting. The wooden box she found in the old barn and painted for her little brother. The photo is, of course, of her dog.
One thing we did continue doing were her private art lessons. Here she’s pictured with her ribbons she earned in photography and painting. The wooden box she found in the old barn and painted for her little brother. The photo is, of course, of her dog.

We had two more major things that swung her over to homeschooling. One was a precious lady that came to the coop and taught Marine Biology. Our daughter loved marine life and wanted to be a marine biologist or veterinarian one day. She could not believe this class. They got to canoe down the Cahaba River and study river life. They even went for a few days to Dauphin Island Sea Lab and studied marine life in the Gulf of Mexico. This was such a great blessing!! This teacher only taught this course this one time in our city before she moved away. I’m convinced God brought her here just for our daughter.

Cassidy with her precious, horse, Ted. She earned the money herself to buy him.
Cassidy with her precious, horse, Ted. She earned the money herself to buy him.

Lastly – horses! Both our daughters had always wanted horses. We had never had the money for boarding or room for a barn/pasture. Well, when we moved to homeschool we made a point to find property where we could have horses. We signed her up for riding lessons and soon she had a horse of her own right in her own back yard.2014-11-15 15.20.32

Again, providentially, our neighbor raised show horses. Both the girls got jobs with her mucking stalls and caring for her horses. She also started working in vet offices. Since we were homeschooling she could work hours most kids couldn’t. Therefore, she was able to help with surgeries, not just cleaning cages, and everything in between.

Capitalizing on her own interests and learning and growing in them taught her the best thing there is about homeschooling. Learning is fun! Next great realization: Being productive is fulfilling.

All of this is actually how AskDrCallahan got started. After she (and her group of friends) finished high school, people kept asking us to teach high school math to their children. There were so many, we didn’t have time to teach them all. We decided to record my husband teaching math so they could have his help without it taking all of his time.

Our daughter worked with us to make these recordings and thereby helped pay for her college degree. You may have seen her on our DVDs, especially Algebra I.

Bottom line, we found opportunities for her to explore her interests that only homeschooling would allow. It made it fun and worthwhile and something she not only looked forward to, but also was grateful for.

What a Gift!CassidyFamily

We thank God that she had fun those 3 years, but mostly that she regained a love for real learning.  The way He redeemed all those years I spent working away from them and they spent marching mindlessly to another’s drumbeat, in those three short years, only He understands. It was the absolute best three years!

Our wonderful son-in-law. What an amazing godly man, husband, and father he has grown into. We are so thankful for him.
Our wonderful son-in-law, Tim.

 

She graduated from college with honors and is married, has two sons, (grandson #2 will be here in another month! I’m a little excited!)  and is homeschooling.  She married her college sweetheart, Tim.

I don’t know how the time has gone by so fast, but I do know that it has turned out well. God is so good to redeem the lost years.

We are so proud of our godly daughter and the wife and mother she has become.

She is also a social media specialist, literature expert, amazing artist, math scholar, and extremely creative. She is so gifted in making learning fun for others now. Often tutoring kids struggling in math, English, literature, science, or French and turning the learning into something fun they look forward to. Parent’s marvel that’s she’s able to help their children turn around from Ds to As.

Cassidy at the time of this writing with her sweet son.
Cassidy at the time of this writing with her sweet son.

 

 

Its beyond words for me to express the joy when she gives me a smile and big hug and says “Thank you, Mom, for homeschooling me.”

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Putting Your Baby in the River is the Easy Part!

We are always being prepared to “let” our children go into the mission field. It seems like a big sacrifice, “Yes, Lord, please use our children for your kingdom!”

Looking back its pretty self-righteous! How presumptuous! There is no knowing how God intends to use the children he places in our care, and there is no “let” involved with grown children.

Claiming promises
Claiming promises

I’ve recently come to know Jochebed. Her mother story is truly epic! What a long-suffering, patient story. If you know the name at all, it’s probably more to do with her faith than patience. But for me, it’s the patience that’s striking. Who is she?

She’s the mother of Moses.

She was strong in faith for sure. She most likely could have been killed for putting that baby boy in the basket to try to save him. She had to be concerned she’d sent him to his death herself. But its pretty clear she knew God had a plan for him and she acted on that promise. Immediately, she was rewarded. You know the story – the princess saves the baby, Jochebed even gets hired to nurse him, and instead of being killed, he’s raised in the palace. Indications are both she and Moses knew he would someday save the Hebrews from bondage. They knew that he was a covenant child. They knew God had formed him with a future and a hope.

Positioning for a takeover?
Positioning for a takeover?

So…things were looking good. They were doing everything right. The boy was safe; the future was bright for him to do great things for his people. Taking over from within maybe?

Time passes. A lot of time passes. Forty years pass. What’s he doing? Where’s the rescue. What’s the plan? One day (still living like a prince) he’s tired of seeing the injustice to his people and decides it’s time to act. No consultation with God. No consultation with wise counselors. No consultation with anyone. He seems at this point to be pretty sure of himself and really…he’s a prince of Egypt…he’s got this!

He jumps out there and takes action, killing an Egyptian to save a Hebrew, he hides the body. When he’s found out, he gets scared of both sides and flees town.

Taking Control!
Taking Control?

Forty more years!! Yes, he flees and is gone forty more years. Here is where I’m thinking of his mother’s patience. This is when she thought “Putting him in the river was the easy part!”  She had to have been so sure on that day she was hired to nurse him that God was going to do mighty things with her son for the Hebrews. I’m sure those childhood years were full of relief and hope at his salvation. His twenties must have gone by with wonder at when he would act. Then in his thirties she might have started questioning if she understood God all those years ago. But with her great faith, she’s hopefully hanging in there – waiting. But then, instead of mighty works, he’s a murderer on the run! He’s in hiding and she is still in slavery. She doesn’t hear from him for forty years! He’s abandoned them.

I had to use Charlton Heston at least once!
I had to use Charlton Heston at least once!

Yes, he’s 80 years old when he gets about the task she had so hoped for when she placed him in that basket! How many times did she question? How many times did she wonder if she misunderstood God’s promise? Did she wonder if God would keep his promise? Did she even live to see the day the promise was realized? How many times did she pray?

God used Moses His way – Not Jochebed’s way or Moses’ way. When we are blessed to raise children for God’s kingdom, we have to trust God with them even when He uses them in ways we didn’t expect. We must not loose hope or faith when they wander past our patience or outside our expectations. We must pray for our children and recall to God His promises. God’s promises are true and He is faithful!

Isaiah 49:25 For thus says the Lord:

“Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken, and the prey of the tyrant be rescued, for I will contend with those who contend with you, and I will save your children.”

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Fossils Rock!

Daniel is doing Apologia’s Exploring Creation with General Science 2nd Edition. Here is his stab at Experiment 7.1 (page 160) “Making a Fossil Cast.”

First he read the instructions – that may seem obvious, but he is twelve. Little brother, David age 7, has decided he wants to join in and participate.  We gathered up all the supplies.  Oh, and just ignore that stuff on the left side of the table. That’s our other project – history – Charlemagne’s Crown in the making. The paint is drying. More on that in an upcoming post.

Reading directions and gathering supplies.
Reading directions and gathering supplies.

Making the mold! We used Sculpey clay, but I don’t recommend this if you are buying supplies. Its on the pricey side. The book says Play-Doh will work. We had Sculpey left over from another project, so that’s what we used. Notice – little brother looking a little less enthusiastic. This attention span is typical for him – don’t be alarmed!

Making the mold!
Making the mold!

Here’s the mold of his sea shell – which we actually got from the Gulf Coast last winter. Two different science adventures coming together!  He covered the mold with petroleum jelly.

Sea Shell Mold
Sea Shell Mold

Measuring, weighing, and mixing the plaster! Here’s the MATH part! They (science & math) go together – just get used to it.  We halved the plaster recipe on the container because we didn’t need a whole POUND worth! But we should have cut it to one forth. We would have still had plenty and the math would have been even more fun!

Not pictured – little brother, who has apparently moved on.

MATH Alert!! Weighing the plaster and measuring the water.
MATH Alert!! Weighing the plaster and measuring the water.

WARNING!! HAZARDS!! At least that’s what we read on the plaster container. Hence, the goggles, mask, and gloves were required. He’s very serious about warnings! It might be overkill, but its his experiment – just go with it.

Mixing - DON'T breath in the plaster or get it in your eyes!
Mixing – DON’T breath in the plaster or get it in your eyes!

Once it is mixed well, pour it into your mold. We have the mold in a plastic or maybe its Styrofoam plate. The books says paper, which we didn’t have. This plate worked. I think it just has to be throw away.

Plaster in mold.
Plaster in mold.

Let it sit and sit and sit. Okay, it really didn’t take that long unless you are 12 and 7. They went out to play and when they came back…

Hard plaster!
Hard plaster!

He broke off the excess, and pulled them apart. Cast made!

Fossil cast!
Fossil cast!

He’s one proud scientist!!

Daniel the scientist!
Daniel the scientist!

Now step 9: Clean up your mess!! Whatever you do, don’t skip this step!!

They spent the next several hours making more molds. Yes, “they” – little brother did come back for the big reveal!  Perhaps tomorrow we’ll pour a cast of the nose mold he’s made. But for today – we’re done!!

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Curriculum Crutch

Standing around our kitchen the other day, a friend expressed her frustration with getting her 9-year-old son to listen and absorb her instruction. She had a few examples, but one that really highlights this common struggle from moms is her clock example. She was trying to get her son to learn how to “do” time/clock problems in his math curriculum.

Analog Clock
Play with a clock to learn to tell time.

She had explained to him that 30 minutes after the hour could also be expressed as half-passed the hour. When she asked him to do the problems on the curriculum sheet, he couldn’t repeat or remember these different expressions on the paper.  My immediate response was to ask if she’d played clock games to help him with clock/time expressions.

Later, as I reconsidered her issue and my response, I thought, “Why are we so curriculum dependant, especially for the most basic of life lessons?” I remembered months earlier a mom asked me what’s the best curriculum to use to teach the days of the week.  Do we need a curriculum to teach children to tell time, know the days of the week, or months of the year? No, we don’t. And not only do we not need a curriculum for these lessons, its not even the best way to teach them. What we need is a clock and a calendar.

We probably already have clocks and calendars in our home. We just need to remember to point out what they tell us when we walk past them. Point them out everywhere you go.

Nasa watch at the Space Center in Huntsville, Al.

It’s especially instructive to identify dinnertime, leaving for church time, or friends coming over time. My children really track the time on the clock waiting for that time the friends are due to arrive. Its a great opportunity to use all the different phrases to express the time and to point out the minute lines, five minute marks, half hour and quarter hour. As an aside, the clock is also a great place to learn fractions.  Have our children had experience with the clock before they have to answer questions about it on a curriculum sheet?

When we try to teach children something in the curriculum that they have no experience with, it is very hard to learn it just for the sake of learning something. Kids need a purpose. Like all of us, they need a reason to do what they do. Busy work (or work that seems to have no purpose) frustrates and rarely teaches. If they’ve experienced the clock as it

Different clocks.

relates to their lives (and things they care about), then when it shows up on their math curriculum, those will be the easy pages to fly through. What time ice cream is going to be served makes a child want to understand how to read the clock.

Curriculum dependency is a problem in other areas as well. So watch out for it! That’s not to say we don’t need curriculum, but overly depending on it can leave us missing the opportunity to teach the real life lessons that present themselves through the course of our day. Curriculum not only helps us keep forward momentum, but also reminds us to cover things we might forget needs to be taught. Maybe we didn’t think of the analog clock until it came up in the math curriculum.

Time to flight = FUN learning!!

If so, our child will need some real life experience with it before the on-paper clock exercises will make sense.  Curriculum is not a crutch. Curriculum is a useful teaching tool, but life is the lesson.

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Scout’s Blue and Gold Banquet. Who, What, When, How?

Blue and Gold Banquet and Crossover Banquet for our scouts is one and the same.

Where? This was easy.

Our church fellowship hall was booked a year in advance.

Who? Me –  Decorations and food!

What I didn’t know when I volunteered? Low popcorn sales means little money for banquet!

When did find out my limitations? One week before the big night!

How was I going to get this accomplished for 17 excited 10 year olds and close to 100 of their families? God’s grace, mason jars, and a wonderful older daughter.

 

Searched the Internet for ideas and got a few. Most of them were very involved, amazing crafts from Mama’s that are more talented than I and seriously more time than my week to pull it off.  My sweet grown niece was doing the same banquet for her son NEXT year and told me what she was doing with Mason jars for the big night. She had already started getting them ready.  Did I mention her’s is next year and mine was next week!  But the Mason jar idea got me encouraged. I knew I was hanging on to all those old mason jars in the basement for a good reason.

 

Time to shop & brainstorm.  The boys and I walked around Hobby Lobby looking for ideas.  Many were to be had, but at what expense? Finally, we came upon a Scout-symbol looking stamp. Hummm… I could put that on all those mason jars. Blue and Gold ribbon on large rolls very cheap today. After a bit we happened up on a big stack of American flag bandanas – $1 a piece.  All right, now we’re getting somewhere. Okay tea lights are cheap. Get word from my husband that two half rolls of blue table coverings are left over from last year. Okay so the tables will be blue. To Walmart! Got blue and gold balloons and helium. What to put in those jars?  After a while, we’re down the candle isle. Where else could we go to ease our despair? But there on right in the middle of the isle what was hanging but bag after bag of butterscotch candy wrapped in beautiful gold wrapping – $1 a bag! YAY!  Last to Party City to get the rest of the table covering and 100ft rolls of table cover is on half price sale. Thank you, God!

 

I spent two days stamping those jars with the scout symbol using my son’s finger paint, filling the jars with butterscotch, and tying on ribbon round the tops. My college daughter took the afternoon/eveing off to help me set it all up.  It all came together beautifully. The boys had a blast and each got to take home an American Flag bandana, candy, and balloons.  It was a good night for $95. That’s less than $1 per person.

 

 

Oh yea – food!! Full Moon BBQ had agreed to do the banquet weeks before. Upon hearing of our money crunch, they lowered their quote and agreed to do the banquet for what we always charg

ed in the past for admission – $10 a person.

Thanks to the good Lord, great family, good friends, parents in the scouts, and Full Moon, it was a wonderful night of food and
fellowship and crossing over!

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