Category Archives: Faith

Jesus Christ is our hope and the source of all truth.

Take that SYSTEM!

Philippians 1:6  being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Twenty  Years to Completion.

The difference between belief and trust is experience. An experience takes time, often lots of time. But the trust that comes at the end of that experience is worth every minute of it. It’s a trust that equates with rest. Resting, peacefully.

Let me explain.  Hang in there, it’s a 20 year ride!

 In the Beginning

WAY back when our daughter was ready for four year old kindergarten, she was busting with excitement that she was accepted to and would soon begin learning at the private school where her older sister was already attending.  CatrinaOh, it was a beautiful time.  They were both at a good school with a promising future ahead. I had just landed a dream job and all was smooth – for two years.

Rumblings of Thunder

During the second grade she began to act out and get in trouble at school. Minor infractions, but they seemed out of character. She was no longer bubbly with the expectation of learning, but instead dreaded certain subjects.  By the third grade she was failing subjects and the school worked with us to retake test and we stumbled along with many calls and conferences.

Strangely, that same year, 3rd grade, my husband found out a man he worked with homeschooled his children.  We didn’t even know what that was. As we learned more about his lifestyle, we found it completely absurd!  His poor children! And what makes them think they can teach their children ALL those subjects? And…well, you know all the questions and comments.

More and more people seemed to get blown like sand into our lives that homeschool. Many of them at our OWN church! How did we not know these people were doing this? We decided to check them out. WOW, their kids were so polite, interactive, intelligent, well spoken, and the list just goes on.  We went on checking out family after family and they were all this way. Educated and seriously making “regular” schooled children look like the ones that weren’t socialized. Our older daughter’s friends would barely even speak to us, much less look us in the eye and carry on a reasonable conversation. These kids could do that!

As a last ditch effort to shake off this homeschool idea, which was starting to feel like pressure from within, we decided to talk to the superintendent of the private school about it. He would definitely tell us why we should keep her in his school.

He didn’t.

Terrifying Winds of Change

The superintendent of the private school told us homeschooling was the best option for any child, and this private school was there for those that couldn’t homeschool for whatever reason. He was second choice. SERIOUSLY! NO, this is not what I wanted to hear.

Leaving there, I started to panic – big time! I know what this means, I’m going to have to resign from my job and stay home. I’m going to be the teacher. I don’t want to stay home and I’m NO teacher! Our income is going to be cut in half. Yes, half! We need to sell our two-income home and move to a one-income home. LOTS of changes for this one change!

We put the house on the market, hinging every thing on that. If it sells, I’ll quit and we’ll homeschool. The sale of the house is our fleece.

But it doesn’t sell, and doesn’t and doesn’t!

Meanwhile, our daughter continued to struggle. By 5th grade, she was calling me several times a week with stomachaches and headaches and anything to get out of schoolwork. The physical issues weren’t made up; they were real, brought on by the stress of the situation.  The school was strongly recommending we have her tested for learning disabilities, insisting she needed medication, and declaring she could not stay in the classroom if we didn’t. She was too disruptive.

We talked to our pastor. He called us out on the carpet or I should say, water. He said our house sell was not our fleece, but our excuse to not step out of the boat onto the water.  “Take a leap of faith,” he says! “Obviously, God is telling you to homeschool. Dive in.”

And so, we did.

I was terrified. The house had been on the market 2 years! I put in my resignation at my 10-year job. The house sold immediately and they wanted to move-in in 3 weeks. We frantically started looking for a house and found one that had been standing empty for almost 2 years; move in ready, like it was waiting for us.

We closed. I quit. We moved.

The girls had just finished the 5th and 9th grades. I’ve got the summer to get ready to go from engineer to teacher of 6th and 10th grade girls.  The older girl is a story all her own, I’ll save for another day.

 What do I do?

What do I do with this beautiful, 10 year old girl that used to love learning, but now hates learning with a passion. Not only is she convinced she hates learning, she is convinced she CAN’T learn. All will and interest in learning seemed dead.

I decided since the system had turned her world up on end, it needed turning back over.

What’s critical? That was my question. Well, she had to regain a love for learning or we’d never get anywhere.  We had to re-instill wonder in her life. She didn’t wonder anymore.  I decided it all came down to two things: desiring learning and reading. Those two things are critical to a lifetime of learning.

Since I’d never been home with our girls before, we had the best summer ever! We spent time having fun together and getting to know each other, laughing, jumping, spraying water, preparing for horses, and planting gardens.  I remember us lying together on the trampoline after jumping and laughing. Laying there resting, we watched the white, puffy, clouds drift across the sky.  We saw shapes and we began to wonder what shape they would drift into next. There on the trampoline, I saw a spark and realized the wonder was not dead, but only mostly dead.

Effort and Patience

By all normal standards, we took the 6th grade year off. We threw out all the workbooks, textbooks, test and anything else that looked like school.

Little did she know that the summer wasn’t all play for me.

I spent time researching with the homeschooling moms I’d met and the resources they’d directed me to, looking for the best philosophies, methods, curriculum, etc. Several resources were helpful to me, but the one I found most encouraging and understandable during this early stage was “The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling.” This book really spoke to my I-have-no-clue-what-I’m-doing mentality!

Narrowing it back down to my two critical things – loving learning and reading, I decided I needed a really good book to read with her so she could discover the enjoyment of a story.  I chose a G.A. Henty novel a little above her grade level. I was told it was a wonderful story, but probably too difficult for her. It was about Egypt, which is something she had once been interested in. Perfect, a good story and a little challenging. When I picked it, I thought she could read, she just didn’t like to.

I was wrong! We sat down together with the book and she agreed it looked interesting. I told her I’d read some and she could read some. When it came to her part, she said she didn’t know the first word, second word, third word, and so forth.

Astounded, I said, you don’t know “The?”

“No. See I told you I’m stupid.”

We did that with several words. Finally, I asked her why she was so convinced she was stupid and it was because the teachers had told her she was.

“Did they use that word? Stupid,”  I asked.

“No. They said I couldn’t read or do math or anything. That’s stupid,” she replied.

She was so convinced. It was like a big brick wall. My heart broke for her and I silently prayed for guidance on how to attack that wall. Finally, I tried to explain to her that there is more than one way to do things and maybe the methods at the school didn’t fit the way God made her. One size fits all rarely fits all.  I tried to take the huge weight of learning everything off her, explaining that knowing how to read is really all she needed. If she wanted to know about something, she only needed to get a book and read about it. From travel, to medicine, to animals, to art books could take you a long way. She agreed to give it some effort. I agreed to be very patient.

We both didn’t realize the commitment we’d just made!
We got a dictionary and the book. She held “The Cat of Bubastes: A Tale of Ancient Egypt,” and I held “Webster’s Dictionary” in our respective laps sitting on the den sofa. We looked up EVERY SINGLE WORD! The, a, there, with, – EVERYTHING! Oh my goodness! We looked up each word in the sentence and then we went back and read it again to try to put the whole sentence in context.  By the time you’ve looked up every word, you have no idea what the sentence was about. We got through one page a day. It’s all we could both take! That was a LONG week.

But just like Easter Sunday is a shining beacon on Good Friday, Monday was coming! We took the weekend off from reading together, this being our only school activity, and weekends off from school being the only lifestyle we knew. Monday reading time came, and I gathered the book and dictionary and sat down to the page we left off on. She tells me I’m in the wrong place and we are at the next chapter.

“I don’t think so,” I say.

“Oh, I read to the next chapter by myself over the weekend,” she says casually. “I had to know what happened. Is that bad? Should I have not done that?”

After that past week and looking up ALL those words, I’m having a hard time believing she actually read it. Thinking more along the lines she doesn’t want to sit there through another full page of looking up every word.

“No, no that’s fine. It’s your story to read. But I’ve been doing it with you and I didn’t read it over the weekend. So could you catch me up?”

She proceeded to tell me in great detail what happened in the remainder of the chapter. I’m stunned. Happily stunned.

I often tell people I taught her to read in one week, but its probably more accurate that I taught her that she could read in a week.   From then on, she preferred reading it to herself and then telling me all about it in big flamboyant style while I cooked dinner or whatever! Sometimes, she would have to go get the book and read it verbatim so she got quotes correct. You should hear her read. She makes books come alive right in front of you.

 A Whole New Beginning

Our only other book that 6th grade year was “The Handbook of Nature Study.“
I would tell her to go outside and see if any of the nature pictures in the book could be found in our yard.  Before long she could identify different types of trees on the interstate as we drove past them at 70mph! She could tell you their names and all the information from the book, obviously having read every single word.

That was a great year of regaining a love for learning. She went on to read Aristotle, Plato, Shakespeare, finish calculus and physics, as well as, teach herself Japanese, Greek and Hebrew.  One year, 7th grade, her science was volunteering for a local archeologist on a dig near our home where they found Native American artifacts while upgrading a bridge.  At the end, she wrote a paper for the professor in charge for credit.

Summa Cum Laude – What a Finish!

We never had her tested or medicated. By the grace of God she learned anyway.

This week she graduated Summa Cum Laude from University with a Bachelor of Arts in Archeology and a minor in Japanese.  CatrinaGraduation

A twenty-year journey in finishing the work started with a four year old excited about learning all she could! This truth is now self-evident – She can learn!

A twenty-year journey to finishing molding an engineer into a homeschool mom.   I can do all things through Christ….

Knowing that she will now spend her life learning, and I’ll always identify as a homeschool mom, neither of those journeys is actually finished, but this huge milestone of college graduation leaves me resting in the knowledge that God will finish what He starts in us.

 

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Putting Your Baby in the River is the Easy Part!

We are always being prepared to “let” our children go into the mission field. It seems like a big sacrifice, “Yes, Lord, please use our children for your kingdom!”

Looking back its pretty self-righteous! How presumptuous! There is no knowing how God intends to use the children he places in our care, and there is no “let” involved with grown children.

Claiming promises
Claiming promises

I’ve recently come to know Jochebed. Her mother story is truly epic! What a long-suffering, patient story. If you know the name at all, it’s probably more to do with her faith than patience. But for me, it’s the patience that’s striking. Who is she?

She’s the mother of Moses.

She was strong in faith for sure. She most likely could have been killed for putting that baby boy in the basket to try to save him. She had to be concerned she’d sent him to his death herself. But its pretty clear she knew God had a plan for him and she acted on that promise. Immediately, she was rewarded. You know the story – the princess saves the baby, Jochebed even gets hired to nurse him, and instead of being killed, he’s raised in the palace. Indications are both she and Moses knew he would someday save the Hebrews from bondage. They knew that he was a covenant child. They knew God had formed him with a future and a hope.

Positioning for a takeover?
Positioning for a takeover?

So…things were looking good. They were doing everything right. The boy was safe; the future was bright for him to do great things for his people. Taking over from within maybe?

Time passes. A lot of time passes. Forty years pass. What’s he doing? Where’s the rescue. What’s the plan? One day (still living like a prince) he’s tired of seeing the injustice to his people and decides it’s time to act. No consultation with God. No consultation with wise counselors. No consultation with anyone. He seems at this point to be pretty sure of himself and really…he’s a prince of Egypt…he’s got this!

He jumps out there and takes action, killing an Egyptian to save a Hebrew, he hides the body. When he’s found out, he gets scared of both sides and flees town.

Taking Control!
Taking Control?

Forty more years!! Yes, he flees and is gone forty more years. Here is where I’m thinking of his mother’s patience. This is when she thought “Putting him in the river was the easy part!”  She had to have been so sure on that day she was hired to nurse him that God was going to do mighty things with her son for the Hebrews. I’m sure those childhood years were full of relief and hope at his salvation. His twenties must have gone by with wonder at when he would act. Then in his thirties she might have started questioning if she understood God all those years ago. But with her great faith, she’s hopefully hanging in there – waiting. But then, instead of mighty works, he’s a murderer on the run! He’s in hiding and she is still in slavery. She doesn’t hear from him for forty years! He’s abandoned them.

I had to use Charlton Heston at least once!
I had to use Charlton Heston at least once!

Yes, he’s 80 years old when he gets about the task she had so hoped for when she placed him in that basket! How many times did she question? How many times did she wonder if she misunderstood God’s promise? Did she wonder if God would keep his promise? Did she even live to see the day the promise was realized? How many times did she pray?

God used Moses His way – Not Jochebed’s way or Moses’ way. When we are blessed to raise children for God’s kingdom, we have to trust God with them even when He uses them in ways we didn’t expect. We must not loose hope or faith when they wander past our patience or outside our expectations. We must pray for our children and recall to God His promises. God’s promises are true and He is faithful!

Isaiah 49:25 For thus says the Lord:

“Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken, and the prey of the tyrant be rescued, for I will contend with those who contend with you, and I will save your children.”

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You Should Let Her Die

A Tale of Two Mothers

 When our daughter was born at 28 weeks gestation in 1985, she weighed only 2 lbs and 8 ounces.  She lost down to 1 lb and 8 ounces after being born 12 weeks early.  The doctors gave her a 30% chance of living. They gave her 100% chance of being blind due to the oxygen in the incubator, cerebral palsy due to undeveloped lungs, and several heart surgeries in her future – if she had a future. Lots of people told us “You should let her die. What kind of life will that be? She’s going to die young, it might as well be now before she suffers.” They were educated and seemed to know what they were talking about. I was young and had no idea what we were in for. I did have one sweet doctor who encouraged me, and a still quite voice that said “trust me.”

She stayed in the hospital eight weeks, came home at 4 lbs and 8 ounces. She was a tiny little spitfire! She never did have any heart surgeries, never developed cerebral palsy, and no eye problems, well, she is near sighted – like me.

Here’s a photo of our daughter and her son. How thankful I am that Christ held me up, made me strong, and we ignored the educated advice.  Happy Mother’s Day to our sweet daughter who’s now the most amazing mother!

When my mother was 63 years old, she suffered what they call sudden death or cardiac arrest.  Her heart just stopped beating in her sleep at 2 in the morning. Paramedics were able to get her back, but not before her brain was severely injured. She didn’t wake up for weeks. The experts told us “You should let her die. What kind of life will she have?” She finally woke up. She couldn’t talk. She couldn’t even swallow. Her memory was missing the most recent 20 years. She couldn’t walk or use her hands well.  The doctors gave up on her and we brought her home.

She could, however, smile the biggest and most warming smile and a still quite voice said, “trust me.” My dad worked tirelessly with her and soon she was talking with us, crying with us, and laughing with us.  We enjoyed ice cream, reading, talking, two more Christmas mornings, and just being together. She lived 22 months before the Lord took her home. Those months were such a sweet gift.  On the last Mother’s Day before she died June 4th, she and I sat on her deck together and planted container plants.                     I planted and she sat in her wheel chair and talked and laughed with me.

Here’s a photo of my beautiful mother. I am so thankful the Lord gave us those 22 months to let her know how much we love and appreciate all she is in our lives. Happy Mother’s Day, Mama!

This Mother’s Day I am acutely aware that my savior, Jesus Christ, gave me both of these sweet mothers in my life.  They both have impacted me beyond words and I’m glad I listened to His quite voice instead of the experts.

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Thanksgiving 2010

Cooked all day for Thanksgiving. Its at our house again this year. Earlier in the week I fixed chicken dressing, pecan pies, and sweet potato casserole. Today I fixed lemon icebox pie, deviled eggs, congeal salad, carrot slaw, and giblet gravy. I think that’s got it all!! My second daughter was here the second half of the day to help. She worked at her job the first half. She helped me cook, cleaned the house, and decorated the tables. What would I do without her?? I hope when she moves out someday, she comes back to help or maybe our boys will be inclined to do more then. They helped a little this time, but they are young and something their help is only helpful so long. ☺ Our oldest daughter, son-in-law, and grandson came by for a visit today too, which is always nice. ☺ They’ll all be back tomorrow along with my Dad and my sister and her family. We’ll eat and laugh too much and then all be on our way to other events. For us it’s my husband’s family for the afternoon where we’ll eat again, laugh again, and then hope to never eat Thanksgiving food again. Of course, when we get home late that evening, we’ll dig into those leftovers for midnight snack. How BLESSED we are to have so much family to enjoy so much food to consume and such comfortable houses and cars to do it in. God has surely shown us mercies beyond measure and we are truly Thankful.

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What kind of pilgrim am I?

I’ve been reading “Stories of the Pilgrims” by Margaret B Pumphrey and Lucy Fitch Perkins to my sons. Our homeschooling friends Laree Hart and Carlene Raspberry recommended it to us. It’s wonderful. It starts with the Pilgrim’s hardships in England trying to worship during the reign of King James. We follow the pilgrims to Holland and finally to America. We read a few chapters (they are short) each night as we go to bed leading up to Thanksgiving.
Today, while I’m cooking for Thanksgiving and the boys are eating lunch, we are watching “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving”. The boys start to notice the similarities between the two stories like Captain Standish, the long voyage across the Atlantic, and of course the Indians – especially Squanto! As I cooked and listened, it struck me that only 20 adults and 30 children survived from the 102 people that arrived. As they watched one after another die – friends, spouses, parents, children – and it got down to just 20 adults, what must have gone through their minds as they looked out and no one – no one – else was around anywhere. Would you be the next to die or would you be left completely alone – the sole survivor – in this new wilderness?
I’ve suffered heartache, some that don’t heal. I’ve suffered hard times, some I thought would never improve. But I’ve never faced that kind of hardship. What kind of pilgrim would I have been? With those folks in mind and the difficulties I deal with this day, I believe I have more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving than I can possibly even recognize myself.
Praising God for ALL my many blessings and prosperity. Thankful for my family, friends, home and country, but mostly thankful my redeemer lives!!

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June 1st

The first of June has come again
For most another day
But you went home six years ago
And here I still stay

My sweet Mama
The most wonderful Mother ever!

I long for you to talk to
To tell me all is well
You never tire of listening
To all the tales that I tell

Heartbreak I know I brought you
Though you’d never let me know
Shortcomings I have a plenty
But you’d say they never show

Many difficulties you faced
And overcame them all
You finished well faithful servant
And responded to His call

While you enjoy sweet Heaven
All of paradise without a care
I pray I teach your grandchildren
The path that leads them there

For Christ alone can soothe this pain
That rears it ugly head
The time is short. The war is won.
The Lord Christ Jesus said.

I’m so thankful that you taught me
And so I’ll see you there
Someday when our work is done
I’ll have years of stories to share

I know you’ll listen lovingly
And show me your heavenly gardens
While we wait I’ll teach what you taught me
To my blessed little darlings

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Time marches. Better keep up.

When I was a child we always went to my maternal Grandmother’s house for Sunday, Easter, and Christmas dinners. As my Grandmother aged and was afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease someone had to take over these duties. So it moved to our house. My Mother took that over very easily, or so it looked to me. Looking back I remember occasionally having it at this Aunt’s house or that one’s. But quickly it moved to always being at my mother’s house and with time the Sunday dinners turned into just our family and Christmas moved to another Sunday in December. Then we moved our Grandmother’s birthday in with Christmas since it was the same month and consolidated two get-togethers into one since there were so many folks (not just grandkids, but great grandkids) to coordinate with now. Time passes and now my Grandmother has moved to Heaven and my mother too. And the duty and honor has to fall to someone if the family is to continue to get together. Now I’m the mother and grandmother. My sister, female cousins, and I are in that transition mode of trying to keep it going. We haven’t landed on a “we always go here for holidays” just yet. We had Christmas at my cousin’s home. This year we are having Easter at mine. So we’ll get together here the Saturday before Easter. No mother and grandmother for me. My cousins, sister and I are the mothers and grandmothers. I’ll be hosting the get together not just for my children and grandchildren, but also for their siblings and cousins, nieces and nephews.

My sister, cousins and me!

My mother’s great grandchildren will be here, my grandmother’s great great grandchildren. What an honor to know these ladies who went before and have shown us the way. What an honor to pick up the quilt and keep the family wrapped together. Women do this. Sorry – two cousins are missing in this photo!

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Hard Choices. Hopeful Returns.

Just now getting back to my blog and realized I haven’t updated since we moved last OCTOBER! Working on the consistency thing. ☺ So…we’ve moved closer to our church, work, and activities. This also allowed my widowed father to downsize to a garden home. My sister bought his house, we bought her house (which are across the road from each other), and he moved down the road to home he can manage better. Its working out great for all of us. We really miss the 5 acres we lived on for 10 years.

View From the Heart

That was our pasture. But, boy, is it nice to get to and from everything we run to in 5 to 10 minutes instead of 45 to 60. Makes getting to church at night so much easier. Now Daniel can make choir on Sunday nights, dinner & Pioneer club on Wednesday night, and all those Cub Scout meetings through out the week. Not to mention I’m close enough now to actually shop at the Whole Food Market!! YAY! We are much, much more regular at Church and more involved in the activities of life. It was a hard move and hard decision. But I think the sacrifice is definitely worth it. Before we were almost sequestered from society. We don’t want to be of the world, but we do want to be in it. We can’t impact the world if we are shut off from it. And while life out there was nice and had its practical purposes too for a time, it was beginning to cut off the impact we could have on the world. It was beginning to be all about us and not about anyone else. Now people can stop by (and do) much more often, and we can get out and see others too. We are so thankful for the great times and friendships we held there. Now, I’m very excited to see how God plans to use us here.

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